Tag Archives: jordan winer

I’ll stop the world and melt with you

Posted on May 23, 2012 by

Today I showed “easy A” to my freshman English class. We just read The Scarlet Letter.They got the Say Anything reference in the end,  when the guy stood on top of the lawn mower, they knew it was a Cusack move. … Continue reading →

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Thomas Sterling, New Orleans

Posted on April 9, 2012 by

“Would you believe I’ve been up since 5 this morning paddling this boat?” Sterling asked. Shirtless and tattooed, with one cigarette in his mouth and a spare on his ear, Sterling said he has been running a freelance maritime rescue … Continue reading →

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Moonshine Revelation #7 “Hot Cousin”

Posted on January 10, 2012 by

In this series of mystical sayings croaked out to me by the rusted hood ornament of an old Pontiac, the 7th is incestuous yet profound: “So you have a crush on your hot cousin, think you’re the first?” This at … Continue reading →

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Moonshine Revelation #5 It’s What’s for Dinner

Posted on January 6, 2012 by

The number five pearl of wisdom revealed to the Swinegali myself great Zamboni is the following: (In the Indian’s creaky voice, he said:) “if you don’t know what you want for dinner, I really can’t help you” >>>*&^%$?? was my … Continue reading →

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Clip from Zamboni Show, 2011

Posted on July 14, 2011 by

Herein I answer 3 questions from studio audience.. One about tennis, “Why is the backhand a weaker stroke?”,  one about Estonia Independance Day celebration, and one “why do people play golf?” To you people, put the mousie on that purple … Continue reading →

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A Sentence About a Not so Lazy Day of Summer

Posted on July 12, 2011 by

I woke up and said today is gonna be a fun day, and Dash said why and I said, I don’t know I just feel like it is, and it was and maybe that had something to do with it, … Continue reading →

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Can Women Pee Standing Up?

Posted on June 23, 2011 by

This question comes to Zambones from Howard in “Tuscaloosa,” somewhere. Howard, Zambones has seen this feat, and I can assure you it take me many months to recover. So yes, it can be done, but should it? No. Gender equality … Continue reading →

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A Sentence about Your Daughter’s First Dance

Posted on June 11, 2011 by

You realize you don’t know much because you just called at 9 pm to say goodnight and your ex tells you, “she’s at a dance” and you say “what” because that doesn’t sound right, she’s in the 8th grade, but … Continue reading →

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I am a woman; How Can I be a “Bro”?

Posted on June 3, 2011 by

It is a great question which comes from reader, Hermia. She also says to Zamboni, that she is always losing her man friends and not knowing why, and so wishes to know how to be more of a friend that … Continue reading →

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Myth #1 “It’s Crowded at the Top”

Posted on May 31, 2011 by

In my endless travels throughout the world, I , the Zambonesman have done much listening, in addition to answering of questions. Though it may seem that my mission is of a selfless nature,  I can assure you that great Zamboni … Continue reading →

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