Tag Archives: jordan winer

I’ll stop the world and melt with you

Today I showed “easy A” to my freshman English class. We just read The Scarlet Letter.They got the Say Anything reference in the end,  when the guy stood on top of the lawn mower, they knew it was a Cusack move. … Continue reading

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Thomas Sterling, New Orleans

“Would you believe I’ve been up since 5 this morning paddling this boat?” Sterling asked. Shirtless and tattooed, with one cigarette in his mouth and a spare on his ear, Sterling said he has been running a freelance maritime rescue … Continue reading

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Moonshine Revelation #7 “Hot Cousin”

In this series of mystical sayings croaked out to me by the rusted hood ornament of an old Pontiac, the 7th is incestuous yet profound: “So you have a crush on your hot cousin, think you’re the first?” This at … Continue reading

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Moonshine Revelation #5 It’s What’s for Dinner

The number five pearl of wisdom revealed to the Swinegali myself great Zamboni is the following: (In the Indian’s creaky voice, he said:) “if you don’t know what you want for dinner, I really can’t help you” >>>*&^%$?? was my … Continue reading

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Clip from Zamboni Show, 2011

Herein I answer 3 questions from studio audience.. One about tennis, “Why is the backhand a weaker stroke?”,  one about Estonia Independance Day celebration, and one “why do people play golf?” To you people, put the mousie on that purple … Continue reading

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A Sentence About a Not so Lazy Day of Summer

I woke up and said today is gonna be a fun day, and Dash said why and I said, I don’t know I just feel like it is, and it was and maybe that had something to do with it, … Continue reading

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Can Women Pee Standing Up?

This question comes to Zambones from Howard in “Tuscaloosa,” somewhere. Howard, Zambones has seen this feat, and I can assure you it take me many months to recover. So yes, it can be done, but should it? No. Gender equality … Continue reading

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